


Everyone tells Marvin to see Whizzer

by spiky_thespian, the_loch_ness_vegetarian



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Getting Back Together, M/M, Set from around Year of the Child to The Baseball Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 16:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiky_thespian/pseuds/spiky_thespian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_loch_ness_vegetarian/pseuds/the_loch_ness_vegetarian
Summary: It's been two years since Marvin and Whizzer broke up, and Marvin is moping. So Charlotte and Cordelia decide to try and get him to date again. Results vary.





	Everyone tells Marvin to see Whizzer

“Oh, by the way, Marvin’s coming over for dinner. Again.” Cordelia said, basically as soon as Charlotte walked in the door. 

Charlotte sighed, “Okay… I wish we could have one evening to ourselves, though. Marvin needs some more friends.”

“He’s just lonely,” Cordelia protested half-heartedly, “And he doesn’t just need friends. He needs to get laid.” 

“Yeah. If only this Whizzer guy we’ve heard so much about would come back. Or better yet, we could set him up!”

“With who?” Cordelia asked, already liking the idea.

Charlotte thought for a few minutes before she commented, “Well… We must know some people he would like! How about Brad! He’s cool, and he’s a doctor.”

“I don’t know… Maybe we should start by introducing him to someone… More Whizzer-like?”

“No,” Charlotte replied decisively, “He needs to expand his horizons. This’ll be good for him!” 

That night, the two broached the subject to Marvin. 

“So… Marv, have you-” Cordelia started. 

“Please don’t call me ‘Marv’,” Marvin interrupted, “It reminds me too much of my ex. Have I told you about why Whizzer called me Marv?”

Charlotte rolled her eyes, “Yes, last Wednesday if I recall.”

“Actually, that’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” Cordelia said, “Have you considered… Dating again?”

Marvin scoffed, “I have dated! Like, there was that guy… Rod? I think? We dated for, like, two weeks or something!”

“Right, and how did that turn out?” Charlotte asked drily. 

“Not well… but there have been others!” Marvin protested. 

“One night stands don’t count.” Cordelia replied. 

Marvin sighed, “Okay, I guess you have a point. I don’t know, maybe it would be good for me to get out a little…”

“Yeah!” Charlotte agreed, “In fact, I know someone who you would definitely like.” 

“What’s his name?”

“Brad! He’s a doctor.” Cordelia replied. 

“Brad? Are you serious?” Marvin asked. 

“You were willing to date a Rod, but you won’t even give Brad a chance?” Charlotte demanded. 

Marvin sighed, “It’s just… He seems so different from everyone I’ve dated before…”

“You don’t even know him!” Charlotte exclaimed, exasperated. 

“Please, just give it a try?” Cordelia asked pleadingly. 

Marvin sighed again, “Alright, I suppose one date won’t hurt.”

“Great!” Charlotte said, relieved. 

A few days after Marvin’s date, Charlotte actually extended an invitation for him to come over for dinner. He readily accepted, as the date had been terrible. At least, by Marvin’s standards.

“-and he refused to argue with me! It was like he had never even heard of sarcasm! Plus his hair was just… Too neat. Like, Whizzer’s hair was neat, but it kind of flopped all over the place, but Brad… His hair was immovable. And I know this for a fact. It was the same even after he left my apartment this morning!” 

“... That’s nice, Marvin,” Cordelia commented. 

“And I mean, the sex wasn’t bad, but… I could just tell that he was a Republican, you know? Speaking of which, why would you try to set me up with a Republican?” 

“Technically he’s a Libertarian,” Charlotte tried to salvage some of Brad’s dignity.

“Like that’s any better,” Marvin scoffed. 

“Look, just give dating one more chance, okay?” Cordelia implored. 

“Fine,” Marvin replied with a sigh. 

The next day, Cordelia introduced Marvin to her friend Lando whom she had taken a few cooking classes with and they had kept in touch. 

“You seemed to like him,” she commented afterward. 

“Yeah...” Marvin agreed reluctantly, “It’s just that…” 

“What?” Cordelia demanded. 

“Lando is Whizzer’s middle name.” 

“... You’re joking.”

“I’m serious! I always thought it was charming.” 

“Of fucking course you did.” 

“I guess I can still go on a date with him, though. He’s just on thin ice.”

After another couple of days, Charlotte once again invited Marvin over for dinner to hear his thoughts on Lando. Cordelia had told her about the interaction with Marvin and the revelation of Whizzer’s middle name, and Charlotte had gotten really tired of Marvin’s shit.

“So, what did you think of him?” she asked intensely. 

“Well… He was just a lot like… You know… Whizzer. We bickered the entire night, and it was fun, but it just wasn’t the same… And his hair was a little too floppy. Not to mention that he smirked with the opposite side of his mouth, and it was just like a strange and distorted reflection of Whizzer. I also think he’s one of those liberals. You know… The ultra-liberal crazy ones who want to kill the conservatives…”

“Lando is not like that! He just has very set beliefs!” Cordelia protested. 

“... Are you up for another date?” Charlotte asked weakly.

“No,” Marvin replied with a smirk, “Looks like we’re gonna be having dinner together a lot more frequently again.”

As Marvin sat there enjoying his linguine, Cordelia noticed the almost imperceptible twitch of Charlotte’s eye. It was going to be a long week.

“We need to talk about my dad,” Jason exclaimed as he stormed into Charlotte and Cordelia’s apartment. 

“Yeah,” They agreed simultaneously.

“So, obviously, he needs to get back with Whizzer as soon as possible, but the trick will be getting them in the same place at the same time.” Jason said. 

“Wait, you have a way to contact Whizzer?” Charlotte asked, aghast. 

Jason nodded reluctantly. 

“Why didn’t you do this sooner, then?” Charlotte demanded.

“I was just giving him time to, you know, become a better person.” Jason replied with a shrug. 

“Well, you haven’t had to deal with him complaining about missing Whizzer approximately three nights a week for the past ten months, have you?” 

“Actually, it’s only been nine months,” Cordelia corrected. 

Jason looked at both of them in horror before he continued with his plan, “So, anyways, we all know that Whizzer loves baseball, right?” 

“Right.” Charlotte and Cordelia agreed emphatically.

“Well, I have this Little League game coming up this weekend that I’ve been practicing a lot for, and Dad already said he would come. So, I’ll invite Whizzer, who won’t be able to refuse due to his love for me and baseball. I’m just going to conveniently leave out the detail to both of them that they’re both coming! Isn’t it an awesome plan?!”

“You really are a genius,” Cordelia said in wonder. 

“I know.” Jason replied confidently. 

“I can’t believe that actually worked!” Charlotte exclaimed as she and Cordelia walked through the door. Marvin and Whizzer were ‘catching up’ so she and Cordelia could finally eat dinner together in peace.

“Right?!” Cordelia agreed, “If only we had thought of doing that sooner.” 

“To be fair though, the only one who knew how to contact Whizzer was Jason, and apparently he doesn’t care about our sanity.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. 

“Can we come in?” Called a familiar voice.

Charlotte and Cordelia exchanged a long, horrified, glance.

“Yeah, I guess…” Cordelia eventually agreed. Charlotte glared at her, betrayed. 

“Thanks!” Marvin says, dragging Whizzer through the door.

“Whizzer Lando Brown…” Cordelia mused. 

“Wait, you told them my middle name?!” Whizzer demanded, horrified. 

Marvin sighed, “Only because I had too… It’s a long story…”

And so, Charlotte and Cordelia told Whizzer about how Marvin had been pining for him for either nine or ten months, depending on who you asked. However, to at least Whizzer’s surprise, Marvin didn’t complain once. In fact, he laughed along and added to the stories. Perhaps Jason was right, and he really had changed for the better.

Then, Marvin said something along the lines of, “That’s why I like linguine so much. It’s long and thick.” and Whizzer changed his mind. Life was terrible, he decided. And yet he wasn’t complaining.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading! Be sure to comment or kudos if you liked it!


End file.
